Unf*cking Money, Outsmarting Mice and Making Big Plans

I'm feeling empathy for the broom lady in Tom and Jerry....

Hey there you beaut. Have you had a good day? Are you only finally sitting down after running from pillar to post for hours? I’m glad you’ve stopped for a moment.  I hope you’ve got time to put your feet up now before the next thing (or before some well earned sleep!). 

Firstly a HUGE thank you to those of you who sent in questions for me to answer on the Unf*ckery Aunt column. They were all successfully anonymous so I don’t know who you are, but I am deeply grateful for your honesty and openness in sharing what you’re tangling with, and for sending it over for me to give my input. However, you are correct in thinking that there hasn’t yet been an Unf*ckery Aunt column. Well… I had planned to start last week, but I hadn’t factored in that on the days I would usually sit and write, I was driving to Hull to give a talk and then making the long pilgrimage back home to Cornwall again! I definitely needed to give the questions I’d chosen my full attention, and not be rushed or tired, so it wasn’t the right time to begin. I am also determined to be consistent, even if that means delaying starting the column so that I begin properly and know I can show up regularly.

So, I took a beat, and now I’ll be presenting you with TWO Unf*ckery Aunt columns this week. One will be tomorrow, on Valentines Day, and the other will be Sunday, which will be the usual day it.

So, to the recent F*ckwittery!

Today, to settle back into the grooooove my friends, I’m going to list 5 f*cking Things I’ve been doing since I wrote last (a couple of weeks ago) and that have been going on in my little world. (Note: it was going to be 10 because there was loads I was excited to tell you, but as you’ll see I went on a bit, so it had to be 5. Dangit).

Maybe something below might resonate, maybe you’ll do a double take with a ‘Come ON Gail that’s ridiculous’ expression, or maybe you won’t relate at all. However it hits, I’m coming at you with my unf*ckery updates anyway.

The Unf*ckery Updates

This week…

1. I’ve been Unf*cking Money and my relationship with it

Jebus, I am so bad at looking at the details of incoming and outgoing money. Is there anyone else who is the same? I don’t even know the word to describe how drilling down into bills, direct debits and bank accounts makes me feel. I think the major feeling would be ‘resistance’ but I’m not sure why. Perhaps because since I left my high-end tutoring jobs with wealthy families around the world (by choice, to do things that align with the ‘me’ I am now more, and that I know will be very worth it) I have taken a big drop in income. I knew this and prepped for it, but alongside my mortgage almost doubling (thanks Lettuce Liz) and other bits and bobs, it’s been interesting times.

I know we’re all experiencing things like this I know and many folks are much worse off, but shouldn’t this all make me more interested in my money rather than less? No, in fact I’ve felt more resistance, and I definitely pay for that deliberate ‘not really knowing’. E.g. last year I realised my Tesco car insurance had automatically rebooted when I thought I’d cancelled it. Fair enough, that happens to me a lot (ADHD + sneaky boxes to untick that I missed) but I had then shopped around to get good new deal elsewhere, and bought that. So now I unknowingly had TWO.  I was so chuffed that I thought I got a good deal on the new one, but HA! It’s not a good deal when you’re also paying for another policy too. Chrrroiiist! It’s illegal as well I think, so shhhh (pls). I eventually realised and cancelled the old one, but my gosh it’s hard to keep track when you don’t like looking at your money. 

All this leads me to explain that I’m not here to moan about my bills (“Thank f*ck for that” said the irritated reader, whilst trying not to think about their own bills, stuffing them under a cushion for later). I’m here to mention that I’m actually facing the fear and it feels good to be in more control and learning MORE about money. And not just the paying-bills kind either.

I recently decided to learn more about how to make money work for you, and to be better educated about the clever ways your money (even small amounts) can be making you more money. The fab Vicky Pinny from Newquay  (a friend of my friend Kris Hallenga) has launched an instagram acc called @club_mediocre where she posts interesting and inspirational content around being perfectly-imperfect, learning and doing without getting caught up in perfectionism and inspiring other women to do the same. Vicky has said hat she doesn’t want anyone (but specifically women) to feel like they’re juggling and struggling on their own. She’s been posting about her determination to get her head around managing her money, being financially independent into the future, and learning about investing, which hugely resonated and inspired me. I can’t quite believe I’ve been so alienated from money and how to use it for the future, just because I had such a shit and traumatising experience with maths over my school years! No longer. Vicky’s stories and content aligned brilliantly with some research and learning I’ve been doing around stocks, funds and all those  other words that have always petrified me as the playground of the rich and (probably likely) male hoi polloi. I’m on it. 

Here are some very brief headlines of what I’ve done recently (and kudos to Vicky for some of these nudges), and if it’s useful I’ll write another post about what I have learned and what I’m doing. Just let me know.

I have:

• Researched and opened a high interest savings account a few months ago with Shawbrook. The rate is currently 4.95% I think. I have a little chunk of savings I’ve been keeping hold of in my usual account for ages (WHAT A WALLY) thinking that moving it to a high interest savings would be:

  • a) time consuming 

  • b) too hard 

  • c) I’d have to lock my money away for years and what if I needed it urgently for a ransom or something?!

  Ahem, all the above are wrong. It was SUPER fast and easy, and if I want any money out I just have to request it before 9pm the working day before I want it to arrive, which I’ve now done twice. Brilliant. I recommend it, because seeing a little nugget of money (interest) get added each month to the little saving pot might be small fry to some, but it’s SO much more than was getting added by sitting in my Santander regular acc. 

• I’ve been listening to Girls Who Invest by Simran Kaur on audio as I walk and run. It’s a super interesting and accessible introduction to all things investment. Next, I’ll be diving into the Girls Who Invest podcast which is more ‘right-now’.

• I opened an account at Hargreaves Lansdown to buy stocks and shares. There are many other investment platforms but this was recommended by someone I trust, so I’m going to start here. I felt out of my depth but read lots of helpful things on the site and reviewed my learning from the book and other sources, so I got the basic gist and I’m happy to play with a tiny little bit of savings to learn how it works. I put some money in the account and then I bought a little bit of a few funds! I’m going to watch, try, learn and try some more, and I’m starting small and with a small monthly deposit that I can afford and that will compound.

• I’m learning about how compound interest works and kicking myself for not starting sooner (in a compassionate kicking way)

• I’m researching the best pension options as I can’t believe I don’t have one for myself (I have a part of one from teaching I guess?) and figuring out how to make sure I start contributing to one.

I’m also feeling cross that I always believed this stuff was not for me or too hard, so that now I’m late to the game. DANG IT. Next will be me campaigning to teach about these kind of important things in school like: investing, tax, death, healthy relationships and communication skills and how to set up a business. THESE ARE IMPORTANT SKILLS!

Watch this space…

2. I’ve been getting ready to bring something big and special to Cornwall

As of today, and with the help of some excellent solicitors who donated their hours and time pro-bono to support my mission, I have put in my application for registering my CIC. Look at this email opener from my awesome solicitor earlier on today:

I am SO STOKED. I’m honestly learning so much, so dang fast, and it makes me feel very alive and energised…if a little overwhelmed at times. 

A CIC, in case you don’t know, stands for ‘Community Interest Company’ and is a faster and more streamlined way to get an organisation off the ground without all the in-depth work to launch a Charity. One day mine may well convert to being a charity, but it’s early days and I’m really keen to get everything right; piloted, with clear aims and mission, and with outcomes that can be measured and tracked to show efficacy.

It’s directed at young people and helping build their grit, resilience and aspirations, and I think it’ll be very awesome. I’ll share it here with you as soon as I can as I just want to get it registered etc. first, and a big meeting this coming Saturday will help to clarify the team a bit more too.

I have some unbelievably talented people on board and supporting in Cornwall (and beyond) and we hope to be able to create a pilot this year which will show just how a full-scale event and programme next year can make a big difference. 

3. I’ve been accidentally cohabiting

Mice. I’ve got flipping mice. Lawd that feels like telling people I have nits or something, but I’m not really too freaked out. I know my house is very clean and (relatively) tidy, but it’s winter and it’s warm in here, and there's probably some dog-biscuit crumbs of Bill’s knocking about in corners and crevices, so *sigh*, I guess that’s just how it goes. It’s an old Victorian house and I’ve been here nearly 10 years with nary a sign of a mouse, but now they’re here and under the wooden floorboards I think. Bless them, the noisy shits, but also please f*ck off.

I’m actually so cross they are here because they’ve put me in a position to have to DO something about them. I momentarially considered moving out and letting them have the place, as the alternative would be to un-house them from both the house and potentially mortally too. I really don’t want to mortally un-house innocent mice. 

I bought two humane traps, put peanut butter in them and caught a few mice over the week. I tried to get them out of the house and out of the trap as soon as possible so they weren’t stressed, walking in the dark and pouring rain up to the field to release them. I felt SO BAD that they were only coming up from the floor for a lil peanut snack, and the next thing they know they’re in the rain and dark in an unfamiliar field, never to see their families again. It’s like I’m creating Fievel’s and I can’t bear it. Why can’t I just be pragmatic about it?

Happily I haven’t caught any more for days, and haven’t heard a peep, so maybe I got them all? Probably not though, so I’m probably going to have to get the mouse-killing people aren’t I . Ahhhh F*CK. 

Will keep you posted. Anyone dealt with something similar?

4. I gave a corporate talk

Since we last communed, I’ve driven to Hull and back and given a talk to staff at Reckitt; a multinational consumer goods company that employs 40,000 people worldwide (they weren’t all there that day though) and who in 2022 reported revenue of roughly 14. 5 billion. Crikey! I was a little bit nervous, but I needn't have been. I couldn't have asked for a warmer reception. It was a beautiful building, with a lovely engaged audience and some great, insightful questions. 

Happy that I was still kick-ass at giving helpful and inspiring talks, I had a chat with my old friend ‘imposter syndrome’ on the (extensive) drive home and encouraged him to go take a long vacation. To compound my feeling of achievement, when I got home and checked my phone I had received a number of heartfelt messages and emails from attendees, all expressing how useful and uplifting it was. I was so happy, and of course I also got paid for it  (I’m learning to do this part more), so all round it was bloody fantastic. I also had a fab overnight stop off with my friend Dan Hussey and his family and friends at their community farm not far from Sheffield, so that was the cherry on the cake (thanks Dan!). He writes on here as Take a Breath, and he’s the fella who teaches me excellent breathwork online. Check him out. 

5. I’ve been writing

I found 20k words of a book I wrote when I was in my early 20’s. It’s an amusing fantasy book set in Cornwall for kids, probably for ages 12/13, and I think I'd love to keep writing it. It’s a bit weird, but I'm loving marvelling at my writing style,  humour and creative ideas from 20 years ago! 

It’s printed out and was tucked in a folder in a box I was rifling through. The computer it’s on no longer works/exists, so I’m glad I thought to print and keep it. I’ve been scanning the text page by page and dropping it into a doc (what an excellent way to not have to type it all out!) and am going to bookmark it for some editing and more writing soon. 

First, of course, I have to finish writing my proposal for my third book that I’m putting together for wonderful Hannah, my agent. I am so keen to get that completed, refined and hopefully in front of some commissioning editors! These things always take longer than I think they will though!

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Okey dokey. I had more things to share but I’ve run long (of course, loveable gobshite that I am) and it’s probably time to wrap this up. 

Leave me a little note below about anything that chimed with you, and also if you have been doing things in the last two weeks that you’re proud of, or stuck on, or need some support with…drop that in the comments too - we can all cheer you on or help you out!

Lots of love, and see you tomorrow with an Unf*ckery Aunt special column. 

Gail x