Day 16: Just a list of things that make me happy

Because every unf*ckery journey needs a joyful destination

Hi you lil’ sunbeam. I hope you had a good day.

I’ve done a lot today, which is good.. but ‘busy’. I was therefore especially grateful when I had my breathwork session with Dan this afternoon. Fun, informative and then deeply calming.

After that, and at the end of a busy day that started at 05:30, I had therapy. It’s weekly psychotherapy with a brilliant woman who lives up near Fowey, about an hour away. I went to meet her in person for our first session, and ever since we’ve worked brilliantly on Zoom. I miss some occasionally, but even when walking on trails overseas I’ll find service to dial in and have our session.

Lol. This post isn’t about therapy (although later ones may well be because it’s a brilliant unf*ckery tool, that doesn’t always feel comfortable but reaps SUCH rewards if you stick with the process). This post is about something therapy made me think about today: knowing what you really enjoy, and what you don’t.

Sounds like a simple concept, but it’s not. At least, not for me. As a card-carrying people pleaser, I often wonder if some of the things I ‘like’ have been born of not putting anyone out, or not causing a problem. They could equally be because I haven’t paid attention to what true enjoyment really feels like, or am just treading worn pathways that don’t actually bring me joy like they used to, and I just haven’t really stopped to notice. I actually have a LOT of fun in my life, but am I moving towards the things that I enjoy most in the bigger picture? Let’s see.

The inimitable Modern Toss (don’t look up Mr Tourette, Master Signwriter)

I thought I’d try jotting down some things that make me happy, so I did. I’ll list them below.

The list isn’t finished or finite. These are open to flux, change and growth of course, but it was an interesting thing to do. When I tapped into the deep inside knowing of ‘YEP’ or ‘NOPE’ for things I thought of, I then considered whether they aligned with how I’ve been recently living my life. Try it, and see what you come up with.

Here’s my list of the random things that first came out of my mind when I asked myself…

What makes me happy?

• Bird song

• Green wild spaces

• Trees

• Silence except for nature

• Walking

• The sea

• The dogs

• My mum

• My sister

• My nieces

• Writing when I’m in flow

• The sky

• Animals

• Writing and reading

• Helping other people

• Enough space to focus for long periods uninterrupted

• People I can be my real self with

• Friends, and friends who love and allow without judgement

• My van

• Going to quiet beaches no matter what the weather

• Early mornings

• Laughing and making people laugh

• A flexible life

• Healthy eating

• Feeling athletic

• Having 7+ hours sleep

• Giving talks and workshops

• Singing

• Being on a stage

• Working with people directly

• Making new connections (when I feel that I can communicate well)

• A planned day of no plans or communication

• Shorts

• Sleeping in a tent

• Rain

• Time and space to think

• Dancing

• Live music

• Crisps

• Kissing men who are funny

• Kindness

• Having space

• Good manners

• Moving my body - slowly or fast. Being strong and agile

• Including people, and being included

• Teaching people things

• Being generous

• Freedom to make decisions

Ok, that’s a good, if slightly chaotic start. 🤣

I want to make some ‘future boards’ soon to put up when I get back into my house, reminders of what I love and what I’d like to achieve/where I’d like to be in the not-too distant future. I think this list will help!

Also, I just tried a ‘doesn’t make me happy’ list but that wasn’t nearly as fun to think about. Haha! I only got three things in before I stopped:

• Sleeping in

• Needing to reply/speak when I’ve gone inside myself

• Annoying noises (many….)

No, that’s no fun at all. Lol.

I’m going to go back to thinking about what really brings me that deep joy for a bit, and see where I can start steering my glorious unf*ckery ship a bit more in that direction. A big turning circle perhaps, but we’ve got a bit of time. 😍🙏

I’d love to know what makes you happy.

G xx

Useful links and things!

Dan’s the breathwork legend’s Instagram

A brief rundown of what humanistic and psychoanalytic therapy are (My therapist’s background is in these)